Somewhere Outrageous
by shiguresoen
Summary: "You know G, I've never heard the story behind that tattoo of yours." It wasn't a story he wanted to ever relate. Stranded in a carriage with all the guardians least of all.


Somewhere Outrageous

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><p>"You know G," said Lampo, with that damned lazy drawl in his voice. "I've never heard the story behind that tattoo of yours." He didn't say more, but the interest hovered in the air, clearly inviting him to share what prompted him to dye his skin with flames.<p>

That wasn't a story he would ever share willingly. Especially not now when all of the guardians were assembled in such close quarters, squished together in one small carriage.

Giotto, who was squished against him, chuckled. "Tell them G. It's a funny story."

"Funny for you," he grumbled.

"I think this situation warrants some humor," noted Daemon. G supposed it did. It wasn't every day that they all got stranded and then forced to share a single carriage back to the nearest city. All of them. Even Alaude, which made for an even more uncomfortable situation. Most especially when he and Daemon both had headed for the same window seat in tandem.

Thank goodness Knuckle had some sway with the cloud guardian and that idiot Spade. Giotto had then given up his seat to the latter, effectively cutting off the fuse to their conflict.

Yes, the situation garnered a need for amusement. But he wasn't about to be coerced into being the source.

"I refuse," he shot down veritably.

Giotto smiled knowingly. "Then perhaps I should tell it?"

"Do it, Primo," egged Lampo. "I've been looking for a reason to laugh at G."

"As have I," smirked Daemon.

"Now, now," said Asari, palms rising up as if they would keep G sitting down in the stead of showing Daemon how to shut his mouth. "If G doesn't want to…"

"Even Asari is curious," Giotto pointed out. "We should put it to a vote."

"I'm going to make you pay for this later, Primo," he snarled, glowering at his innocent expression. "Why are you so bent on embarrassing me? That whole incident was your fault."

"You've done it now G," laughed Knuckle. "Now I really want to know."

G quickly assuaged that he was being pushed into a corner. He was smart enough, however, to grasp at the one person who could get him out of this with his infamous disinterest. "I bet Alaude doesn't care," he said. "Your vote has to be unanimous." There, that would put this whole ridiculous thing to rest.

Alaude, who had been fixedly looking out the window, blinked and turned to stare at him nonchalantly. Everyone watched him with baited breath. What would his verdict be?

"I don't mind," he said, delivering G's sentence.

Giotto laughed and patted his knee. "There you have it, G. Let's hear that story then."

He sat frozen with disbelief. The only thing that dispelled it was Lampo's grin and Spade's irritating _nu fu fu_ thing. God damn it.

"Fine," he bit out resignedly.

* * *

><p>Before the idea of a vigilante group had been a star in Giotto's eye, his idiotic best friend had engineered a brilliant plan to take down a gang who had destroyed his favorite candy shop.<p>

Giotto, of course, wouldn't stand for the injustice of it all. He cared dearly for the store owners, was dismayed by the sad looks the smaller children gave the locale when they saw it in shambles, and was just generally peeved that his access to his favorite Belgian chocolate was null.

"Here is what we do, G," he said secretively into his ear while they had coffee at a nearby cafe. "We're going to have to infiltrate their gang and take them down from the nucleus. For that we're going to have to get close to them."

G could see where this was going. "So I should go find one of them and become pals, is that what you're saying?"

"Exactly, G! We're always on the same wavelength. It always amazes me," he grinned widely. "But then again you are my beloved G. It's only natural."

G's face flushed. "You're always saying that. Stop. Concentrate on your stupid revenge plot."

Giotto chuckled and pulled out a list from his pocket. "This is a list of names of several people you could try to get close to, and their various haunts. See if any of them are willing to introduce you to the gang. We'll meet back here at sundown and see if we both had any luck, alright?"

G could already feel a headache forming at the base of his skull. This was going to be a pain. "Yeah, got it Giotto," he grumbled while swiping the list. "Let's do this then."

* * *

><p>Having secured the good graces of one completely stupid gang member, G went to find Giotto. Part of him hoped the blond hadn't had any luck so they could put the whole plan to rest. The logical side of him, however, knew that such wishful thinking was foolish. Giotto always got what he wanted in the end. One way or another. G had just never considered petty revenge to be up there with his more righteous plans.<p>

Giotto was already waiting. "Hey G. I got myself in. I'm betting you did too. How did it go?"

G sighed. "It wasn't hard. I threatened some jerk for supposedly knocking into me and the moron offered me a place in his gang in exchange for not beating him up. Apparently a guy with my strength could ascend the ladder quite quickly." He shrugged. Something like that was of no interest to him.

Giotto laughed. "It's a good thing that G is such a good person, then."

"Stop that. Let's get going then. I was told to go to that one abandoned warehouse. Figures. Completely unoriginal."

"It seems like we found the right place then. That's what I was told too," Giotto ascertained.

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><p>When they got to the warehouse it was already dark. The gang members didn't even bother with subtlety. They loitered around the place, unmindful of the law. The two split up and walked up to their respective tickets into the group.<p>

G was first introduced to the boss, a large and burly man with a tangled beard and untrusting eyes.

"Boss, this is the guy I was talking about. He might be young and skinny, but he's definitely strong," his ticket spoke for him.

"G, was it?" said the boss as he scrutinized him. "Welcome then, we're always looking for fresh blood. Lalo there will be your guide around the place." They were dismissed with that. Lalo then disappeared from his side. G rolled his eyes. Some guide.

He walked to a secluded corner and watched the boss. Soon Giotto and his ticket made an appearance. He almost laughed when Giotto tried to look tough in front of him. He had combed his hair back to look like a gangster and let his clothes hang loose. He looked ridiculous. A small part of him, however, admitted that it was endearing.

After he had been introduced to the boss, Giotto _casually_ wandered over to him. "G, our plan is going perfectly," he stated with apparent satisfaction.

"Hmm, well I see something else that has gone very wrong," he pointed out, rolling his eyes. Giotto raised an eyebrow and G reached over and mussed his hair back to something respectable. "You looked like an idiot."

Giotto's cheeks flushed and he got that look in his eye that G was immediately wary of. It meant that he wasn't going to let something slide, namely his comment.

"In any case," he said, trying to change the blond's train of thought. "What comes next in your plan to take these guys down?"

Giotto's expression changed to one of pondering. That didn't bode well.

"There _is _a plan?" he demanded.

Giotto smiled innocently. "Well, I thought I would figure that out after we had infiltrated…" he trailed off at the angry look G was giving him.

G was about to turn around and leave the damn place when a hand clapped onto his shoulder. It was Lalo. "Hey, G, so this was where you went. Come on, I'll introduce you to some of my buddies." G was pulled along and Giotto followed.

They came up to a man who was currently dragging a needle down somebody's back. The man looked up. "Lalo! Want another tattoo?"

"Nah, not me. My buddy G here does though." G's mouth tightened. _Who_ wanted a tattoo?

Lalo grinned at him. "Everyone in our band has one, you understand?" G thought now was probably the best time to leave.

"Wow, I guess that means I'm going to have to get one too," said Giotto behind him. Lalo turned to look at him.

"Yeah, you too. Just wait here until Manuelo is finished. I'll see you later." With that said Lalo left.

"No way, Giotto. Let's get out of here already," he growled at his friend. Giotto raised an eyebrow and grinned suddenly, an idea brightening his expression.

"I have a plan, G," he said, ignoring him. "While you distract them I'm going to go set off the firecrackers I got from that mail order in the paper. That will get the police over here to apprehend all of them. Sounds perfect, right?"

He looked so proud of himself that G didn't have the heart to refuse him. "…Yeah, good." He sighed. "Go then. I'll distract as many people as I can."

Giotto clapped his shoulder. "That's my right hand man! I knew I could count on you." That said, he sped off to go set off the firecrackers and left G with a very complicated decision to make.

"Alright. G, was it? What and where?" said the tattoo man, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"What kind of tattoo do you want and where do you want it?"

G sighed again. "Something and somewhere outrageous." Enough to draw the gangsters' notice away from Giotto's idiotic endeavor.

The man laughed. "What, like on your face?"

"Not a bad idea, old man. My face then. Make it good, I'm giving you artistic liberty," said G. Upon hearing about the new member's daring most of the gang circled around him and the tattoo man, eagerly watching as the needle was raised to his face. Just as G had wanted.

After that everything was history. Well, the gang was. Giotto's plan worked just as well as he had envisioned. The firecrackers set the place on fire, sent the law their way, and had them carted off to jail to serve time for their various crimes. Including the looting of one Giotto's favorite candy store.

Justice, Giotto had said afterwards, was sweet.

G wasn't so sure how sweet it was. The tattoo man had placed a bandage over the right side of his face. What the man had drawn he had no idea. Giotto spent quite a bit of their time speculating over what it could be.

"I bet it's something cute, like a cat," he offered.

A vein popped on G's forehead. "If it is then you're aware that I will kill you, right?"

Giotto laughed. "I was just teasing you."

After a week the bandage started to peel off. Giotto's curiosity was killing him and G himself was at his nerve's end speculating over what atrocity now marred his face. Giotto did him the favor of ripping off the bandage.

"Hey G, is that the strange unidentified flying object you were reading about yesterday?" he asked curiously while they were at their usual cafe, pointing to somewhere behind his shoulder.

G turned abruptly; hope and disbelief distracting him from the mischievous look in Giotto's eye. The blond wasted no time, reached over, and pulled the bandage off before G could do anything about it.

He turned back to face his friend angrily, only to meet with his shocked expression. Realizing that it must be something incredibly hideous or embarrassing his face colored. His blush deepened when people stopped to openly stare.

"G, it's…" Giotto's voice was faint.

G braced himself.

"Incredible. It suits you." He got out of his seat and pulled him up, dragging him to the shop's window.

It was then that G first saw the flames that trailed down his face.

Giotto was grinning proudly again. G swatted him across the back of the head and began to walk away. "Don't look so pleased with yourself. I hate it. It's entirely your fault too."

* * *

><p>"And that's what happened," grumbled G to his audience. Lampo, who had been near tears the entire time, wiped at his eyes. "I had no idea that Primo was so stupid," he choked.<p>

"Neither did I," sighed Daemon. "It was very surprising, Primo. Your ridiculous plan…"

Alaude looked disgusted. "You are a disgrace."

"Now, now, it all worked out in the end," pacified Asari, although his faith looked contrived judging by the look on his face.

Knuckle looked away. "I'll pray for you, Primo, so that you do not involve yourself or your friends in such situations again."

G grinned and looked at Giotto whose face had turned a rather funny shade of red and purple. "You were supposed to laugh at G," he sighed.

G was glad that Giotto's plans sometimes turned tides in his favor.

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><p>Reviews are appreciated :')<p> 


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